Lets start from the first moment I met my bullying boss. It was many years ago, we were at a 50/50 raffle(to keep people anonymous, I will use he/she as not to draw attention to the gender of the individual(s). I knew her/his name and a little about her/his dealings with individuals we were mutually acquainted with but this was the first time I had met her/him. My initial intuition about her/him was that she/he liked being the center of attention, she/he was loud, opinionated and had a curt edge about her/him.
We were seated at a round table with other couples, she/he never shut up and I remember thinking and saying to my husband/wife at one point, "she/he doesn't shut up". I remember feeling uneasy being around her/him and she/he was not someone I would pick as a person to be involved with. The evening ended and we all said our goodbyes...we did not see each other again until I went to work for her/him a few years later.
I always believed in following your intuition, your gut, you know that little person deep in your soul that whispers, "hey, this is a bad thing or stay away from this person, or warning, warning". We all know the little person and I know personally how often I disregard the warnings, analyzing, convincing ourselves that maybe we misjudged or misunderstood another persons character. I am learning as my life goes that my first instincts are usually accurate.
With following the first instincts which I do not always listen too or follow, I normally kick myself at the end and always hope I get better at listening to my little person. Honestly, I have gotten better at following those first instincts but sadly I still do NOT always listen and proceed into the fire to get burned. You maybe asking at this point, which I do in my analytical mindset, "You know better, you have no one else to blame but yourself". Believe me, I kick myself extremely hard each day knowing this person was not the type of person to be involved with but I ignored my gut.
There are warning signs along the way about bullies. I ask you, even if you have not been bullied or if you have been bullied whether as a child on the playground or in a employment situation. Look back with a very open mind and try to recall those first few encounters with the "bully". As you are recalling those first few moments, we all knew this person was exactly what our gut was telling us they were, right? I can honestly say in this situation, this person ended up being what I knew she/he was.
I am hopeful as you read my blogs and my thoughts throughout the three years I was employeed by the bully, you will listen to that inner person and warning signs. I plan to provide articles, definitions and an understanding of a bullies mindset.
So the story of being bulliedatwork begins...Targeted!
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