Definition of Workplace Bullying

Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms:
*Verbal abuse

*Offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidating

*Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”
~Harvey S. Firestone

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

The night before Thanksgiving, Tommy Turkey is ready to be cooked, the traditional green bean casserole, sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce is prepared.

To be thankful for the blessings of my spouse, my children, family and "true" friends.  The past year has been a roller coaster, the roller coaster started off at a low and is ending on a high.  It is true what they say, life only gives you what you can handle and everything happens for a reason.  I concur on both!

Throughout my life I have always strived to develop self-awareness.  To understand and develop clear healthy boundaries with others in my life.  This is not to say that this is always perfect when dealing with life and sometimes I have become comfortable...allowing people to cross over my healthy boundaries into unhealthy boundaries for myself.  The past year has reminded me to continue to listen to that voice of intellect and reason, to be self-aware of the healthy boundaries.

I continue to be trusting of others but when I see warning signs along the way, I do not dismiss them.  Instead, when a situation does not feel right, to pay attention, reflect and re-evaluate.

Getting rid of drama in my life, not just talking about it but actually making a conscious effort to reflect and re-evaluate...then make a decision based on my healthy boundaries.

"Healthy boundaries create healthy relationships. Unhealthy boundaries create dysfunctional ones. By establishing clear boundaries, we define ourselves in relation to others. To do this, however, we must be able to identify and respect our needs, feelings, opinions, and rights. Otherwise our efforts would be like putting a fence around a yard without knowing the property lines"

"Those with healthy boundaries are firm but flexible. They give support and accept it. They respect their feelings, needs, opinions, and rights, and those of others, but are clear about their separateness. They are responsible for their own happiness and allow others to be responsible for their happiness. They are assertive and respectful of the rights of others to be assertive. They are able to negotiate and compromise, have empathy for others, are able to make mistakes without damaging their self-esteem, and have an internal sense of personal identity. They respect diversity. Those with healthy boundaries are comfortable with themselves, and make others comfortable around them.  They live in houses with fences and gates that  allow access only to those who respect their boundaries" (

In reflecting, my healthy boundaries can no longer tolerate disrespectfulness.  At the same time, there are no hard feelings or argument, instead acceptance.  The gate around the house is not a swinging door. Can the gate ever be open?  I think in certain circumstances but in regard to someone like the bullying boss, those gates will forever be closed.  Why you may ask?

The bullying boss set out with his/her plot and lies with the intention to destroy me at all cost.

Forgiveness, I have pondered what this truly means in regards to the bullying boss.  I can say forgiveness is not forgetting the pain caused but moving forward, letting go of the anger and not allowing them to hurt us.  Forgiveness is not about being friendly to the person that has done us wrong or allowing them back into our lives.  It is in talking about and healing from the experience.

I am thankful for people placed in my life.  My true friends that have lasted an entire life time, some I talk to a few times a week and others a few times a month but always being able to leave off where we were and trusting completely and unconditionally.  Parents that I can count on without any question and love me unconditionally.  A spouse that loves me unconditionally, laughs at my dumb jokes and never complains about his/her suffering with his/her illness, instead appreciates all that he/she has and my children that smile each day and know happiness and have good health (and who make me proud each and everyday).

I wanted to thank everyone that has visited my blog, listened to my struggles, hopeful it has been educational   and helpful.

I wish each of you a very Happy Thanksgiving with all the blessings!  Survivor

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