Definition of Workplace Bullying

Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms:
*Verbal abuse

*Offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidating

*Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”
~Harvey S. Firestone

Sunday, September 11, 2011

September 11, 2011, 10 year anniversary of 9/11

This past weekend, I have watched so many stories of brave people on that horrible day 10 years ago.  It still brings me to tears and the feelings I felt that morning watching the planes crash into the World Trade Center is still with me.  I am reminded of how proud I am to be an American and the love I have for my family and friends.  The acts of bravery exhibited are miraculous and shows the kindness of people's hearts toward other's in need.   That day will be a day I will never forget...God Bless America and each other. 

Which compells me to write about stopping and thinking about truths, facts and behaviors of others.  It is in writting about what happened to me that I can begin to heal and help others when I experience others being bullied.  In reading literature about the effects of bullying, whether on the playground or in the office, one has to realize its impact on our culture.  We have all witnessed someone being bullied and how it made you feel...sad, afraid, nervous and helpless.  If you have experienced bullying, it has left you with the same feelings...sad, afraid, nervous and helpless.  Many times, the bully explains away their bullying behavior or even tries to rally others to side with them.  Sadly, we have at one time or another either have choosen to encourage the bullies behavior, ignored the behavior (being quiet not to have a problem with the bully), stood up to the bully or praised the bully.  Isn't that sad, wrong and weak of us?

Bullies "undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask" (  I am sure deep inside of your gut, a person truely knows people like this in their lives, has seen them in action and continues to keep them as allies.  Here it is, "Bullies feel in control when they intimidate others and they feel admired by peers when they act out. It is not so much the victim that gives a bully his or her sense of power, it is the reactions, or rather the inactions, of bystanders that feed the bully’s superior sense of self" (  So I ask you on this 10th anniversary of 9/11, are you that bystander with the bully or are you the brave person, standing strong in the light of fear/death and doing everything and anything, BECAUSE ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO? The actions of people during 9/11 is what saved lives and what helped us stand apart as Americans. 

So, through many initiatives to bring this epidemic to light and expose bullying behavior on the playground or in the workplace, no one can become bystanders encourage the abuse or allow someone to feel sad, afraid, nervous or helpless.  If one chooses to do nothing, then you are no better then the bully themselves, you are a part of the problem and the continued epidemic.  Please be advised, once you take a stand against a bully they will no longer see  you as a adversary and they will now turn on you to discredit you.  Remember the serial bully written about in a previous blog, they will "despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity" (  It is each of our choice to choose what is right or to choice to encourage the bullying the behavior...what are you going to choose? 

The bully usually has a lot to say about how they have been the victim and trying to convince others that they are the "true victims".  When we are each confronted with this type of situation or gossip, one needs to step back for a moment and think, think about the bullies past behavior, their gossiping and their constant victimized attitude.  Recall the picture they paint to others, they want the world to see them as  "a wonderful, kind, caring, compassionate person" ( and many times this is the Dr. Hyde persona.  The bully is not going to expose themselves to people they see as allies but if one looks over the pattern, you can see.  It is our decision to do the right thing, to have your own mind/heart and courage.  If questioning the truth, one can ask the hard questions of the bully and facts supporting their behavior.  Keep in mind, "is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment, cannot be trusted or relied upon, is highly manipulative, poisons peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions"(

Empathy by definition, "direct identification with, understanding of, and vicarious experience of another person's situation, feelings, and motives"(  Can you put yourself in someone else's shoes, have empathy for their experience of being bullied?

In education, having empathy and an open heart, we can change others from being bullied,

God Bless,


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