Definition of Workplace Bullying

Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms:
*Verbal abuse

*Offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidating

*Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”
~Harvey S. Firestone

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Horrible nightmare...

I have not written in a while.  I have had so much on my plate and the bullying boss, I thought was a distant memory.  Unfortunately, the bullying boss creeped into my dreams last night.  As I have written previously, I have a sick spouse.  My spouse has been sick for a while and now has been hospitalized for almost 4 months.  Each day is another day, each hour brings another change.  Yesterday was the first day my spouse expressed worry about not making it and concern for our families brought me to tears.  

A bully has long lasting affects on your well-being even long after you believe those issues are resolved.  Waking up this morning after having a dream in which the bullying boss reappeared brought back so much pain.  I recall stating in emails to the bullying boss to please stop what was happening and that I needed my job.  I needed my job for all the obvious reasons but especially because of my spouses health.  I needed the security and stability financially.    

The bullying boss made a comment about a co-worker.  The bullying boss talked many times about getting rid of this person but had decided this was not an option because the co-workers spouse was in a wheelchair.  Of course, this was a visual others could see and therefore, could not act on his/her wishes. I believe it would of shown the true heart of the bullying boss to people.  I guess my spouse was safe game because his sickness at the time did not show so outwardly.  

There were so many conversations with the bullying boss about my worries about having a job throughout the years I was employed at his/her company.  A bully does keep haunting your fears have come true in regards to my spouses illness.  The situation is worse then being in a wheelchair, my spouse is fighting for his/her life.  The bullying boss should understand the results of their actions having lasting stress.  The act of the bullying was wrong and the firing was unjustified.  You did me and my family wrong.  

In my dream I was able to tell you to your face all that I feel and think of you!  Maybe someday I will have the opportunity but then again it would not matter...I do not believe you will ever reflect on your actions and the deep impact of what you did on a another human being.  


  1. AnonymousMay 14, 2012

    Being a professional I am going to chime in. This bullying boss is an extreamly sick individual. Not only a self centered egotistical person, he/she is deffinately mentally ill. I would venture to say this individual is Psychotic. I would hope their family members would not let this go on any longer and consider institutionalizinng the individual. I pray he/ she does NOT have children.

  2. Thanks Anonymous for your comment. Sadly, there are children. In my research of bullying, many times it is a learned behavior. With so much focus on childhood bullying and currently on workplace bullying, I believe this epidemic will continue to grow. In dealing with a Narcissistic Personality in a treatment setting is very difficult. The facts report it all, drama queens, manipulative, need energy supplies and knows how to control others around them.

  3. I just wanted to commend your courage for blogging about your abuse in the workplace. I'm also blogging, but about my experience with stalking. I am grateful you are taking a stand, to get the word out: victims need to read about others' experiences, so they can find strength in their own situation.

    1. I appreciate that. Its been nearly 2 years and the one regret I have was not taking legal action. To be called a theif still rings in my ears and was slanderous.

      Can you share your blog so I can read?

  4. AnonymousJune 30, 2012

    After having been subjected to sexual violence, exhibitionism, verbal sexual harassment, verbal threats, attempted physical assaults, death threat, false accusations, slander, libel, intimidation, and stalking, I was terminated for having filed an EEOC complaint for a hostile work environment and reprisal.

    Management terminates those who have legitmate complaints to cover up for their illegal malfeasances, to include, but not limited to FWA, tax fraud, illegal solicitation for personal gain with government assets, illegal fund raising, paycheck fraud, illegal use of government vehicles for personal use, sexual harassment and discrimination.

    The EEOC is a federal watchdog that protects themselves. I have no confidence with that agency nor Union. Management lies for each other so that they can continue these illegal malfeasances.

    My supervisor (GS-13) told me on several and repeated ocassions not to go outside the agency for help or he'd retire and "you'll be without a job". He told me that others would lie for him to protect themselves from losing their jobs. Bullies lie about about other people to protect themselves.

    You're absolutely right that a "bully does not responsibility for their hurtful behavior." Nor, are the victims responsible for the bully's behavior; yet, we pay the price.

    Bullies ruin lives, families, finances, dreams, etc. They take that which is not theirs to take. How do we rebuild our lives after such devastation?

    1. I agree with what you have stated. "How to rebuild after such devastation"?, great question.

      Lately in the news there has been a focus on bullying in schools and the victims of these bullies have demonstrated such courage. I believe there will always be bullies in the world, in schoolyards, in the workplace and other areas of life. As a society we need to instill empathy in our children and teach them to stand up to injustices.

      I believe we rebuild our lives having awareness of our situation and learning how to perserve. I also believe we are best armed when we educate ourselves on how to combat bullies so if we or someone we know are in a bullying situation can respond.

      I hope you find resolve in your current situation.