I was looking over some facebook emails and want to kick myself right in the butt. I have always been a person who would defend a person being bullied, stand up for others in need and advocate for others when need be. I think that is the most disappointing thing about re-reading these facebook emails, although there were some issues with this particular co-worker, every few months he/she was the "targeted" employee. Defending him or her, pointing out positive factual stuff and even joking that the bullying boss was never going to fire this co-worker, never stopped the bullying this co-worker experienced for nearly 3 years, the abuse was consistent. In the end, this co-worker played the game with the bullying boss against me and funny thing, the bullying boss looked to this co-worker to help target me.
Maybe "birds of feather flock together". I wonder if a bully surrounds themselves with followers, insecure and like people? Or do they play people around them to catch them in their web of dysfunction?
The signs were there and the comments about another "targeted"co-worker clearly shows his/her narcissitic/bullying thought process. Here is a glimpse of the bullying boss in action and his/her thoughts about the "targeted" co-worker:
Targets are more technically skilled than their bullies. They are the "go-to" veteran workers to whom new employees turn for guidance. Insecure bosses and co-workers can't stand to share credit for the recognition of talent. Bully bosses steal credit from skilled targets. Targets are better liked, they have more social skills, and quite likely possess greater emotional intelligence. They have empathy (even for their bullies). Colleagues, customers, and management (with exception to the bullies and their sponsors) appreciate the warmth that the targets bring to the workplace. Targets are ethical and honest. Some targets are whistleblowers who expose fraudulent practices. Every whistleblower is bullied. Targets are not schemers or slimy con artists. They tend to be guileless. The most easily exploited targets are people with personalities founded on a prosocial orientation -- a desire to help, heal, teach, develop, nurture others.
Targets are non-confrontive. They do not respond to aggression with aggression. (They are thus morally superior.) But the price paid for apparent submissiveness is that the bully can act with impunity (as long as the employer also does nothing).
According to the 2007 WBI-Zogby Survey, 45% of targeted individuals suffer stress-related health problems. Additional findings regarding targets' health can be found in WBI research and the PTSD-related research by others posted at this site.
http://www.workplacebullying.org/individuals/problem/who-gets-targeted/
As I continue over the next few days to establish some understanding into workplace bullying and also the journey it took me on, I am hopeful that this will help educate you along with inspire you to continue to stand on your morals and know you are the better person for it.
Goodnight for now,
Targeted